Ah, “The Nice Guys.” A film from 2016 that, by all accounts, should have been a slam dunk. Shane Black directing, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe teaming up as a mismatched detective duo in 70s Los Angeles. The trailers promised witty banter, hard-hitting action, and a unique buddy-comedy vibe. I, like many, heard the whispers of critical acclaim and the gentle hum of cult classic potential. And yet, here I sit, fresh off my first viewing on Paramount+, feeling… weird. 🤨 And frankly, a little stupid for having picked this film. 🤦♂️
Let me be clear: this isn’t just a critique. This is a verdict. If you’re looking for a Cinesist recommendation, here it is, plain and simple: Do not watch “The Nice Guys.” 🙅♀️ It wasn’t what it was cracked up (pun absolutely intended 😉) to be. It was, quite simply, a bad movie from beginning to end. 👎
From the get-go, the film establishes its premise: a bumbling private eye, Holland March (Ryan Gosling), who’s more of a professional scammer than a detective, and a hired enforcer, Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe), who prefers brute force over finesse. On paper, this is gold. ✨ In execution? Gosling’s portrayal of a perpetually drunk, utterly ineffective P.I. who practically rips people off quickly becomes less endearing and more irritating. 🙄 Russell Crowe is, as ever, a timeless presence, anchoring his role with gruff gravitas, but even he couldn’t lift this sinking ship entirely. 🚢⬇️
The plot, or what semblance of one existed, felt like a bewildering game of hide-and-seek where our protagonists were constantly three steps behind. It was like Alice in Wonderland chasing the White Rabbit, except Alice was hammered, and the rabbit kept leading her into increasingly dangerous, yet ultimately pointless, situations. 🐇🌀 The central mystery, involving a girl named Amelia (the one in the yellow dress), quickly devolves into a convoluted mess. And in a moment that epitomized the film’s frustrating lack of narrative payoff, a hitman practically runs into Amelia and unceremoniously “ices” her while she’s attempting a cunning escape. 💥 It’s an anticlimactic, almost insulting resolution to what was supposed to be a core driving force.
Sure, there were fleeting moments of dark humor. Healy breaking March’s arm was a visceral, unexpected gag that landed. 😂 The absurd interaction between Healy and Holly (March’s daughter) over Yoo-Hoos offered a chuckle. But these were isolated incidents, sparks in a vast, dull void. ✨ The one-liners, touted as a highlight, were merely alright, certainly not strong enough to carry the weight of a film that was clearly struggling under its own pretensions. The character “Blue Face” felt less like a menacing villain and more like a cartoonish, moron hot-head, devoid of any genuine threat or interesting personality. 😡
And what was the point of it all? To stop a porn film from being shown that implicated the auto industry? 🚗🎬 And it all boiled down to… Detroit?! The sheer banality of the grand conspiracy, after all the escalating violence and convoluted chases, was baffling. It was an odd pairing of over-the-top antics with an underwhelming central conflict, leaving me scratching my head more often than laughing. 🤷♂️
The truth is, for a film promising buddy-comedy brilliance, the dynamic between Gosling and Crowe, while certainly present, never quite gelled into the effortless, iconic chemistry required to elevate mediocre material. It felt less like a genuine comedic duo and more like two talented actors trying very hard to make it work. 😬
The best part of “The Nice Guys,” for this Cinesist, was the simple fact that it ended. 🎉🔚
