We finally dove into Novocaine on Paramount+! With a premise like “can’t feel pain” and Jack Quaid, we had hopes. Did it deliver? Well, it was… alright. Cinesist gives you the unfiltered truth on this middle-of-the-road action-thriller. 🤷♀️
Alright, 🤯Cine-freaks, gather ’round, because we just took one for the team. We plunged into the depths of Novocaine, a film promising a protagonist who “can’t feel pain” – which, let’s be real, sounds like a recipe for MAXIMUM SNARK chaos and gloriously stupid action sequences. Unfortunately, much like its namesake, this movie left us feeling… mostly numb. It’s that kind of ‘alright’ that makes you question your life choices, but also wonder if you actually saw something worthwhile in the haze. Prepare for a rollercoaster of mediocrity, punctuated by one genuinely Oscar-Worthy twist we might just forgive the rest for.
The Premise: More Painful Than Promised?
The core concept of Novocaine – a guy who literally can’t feel pain – sounds like PURE CINEMATIC GOLD! for a gritty, over-the-top action thriller, right? You imagine him shrugging off bullet wounds, walking through fire, perhaps using a live grenade as a party favor. And for a glorious, fleeting moment, the film flirts with this concept, delivering some moderately creative action sequences where Jack Quaid’s character, Chris, shrugs off hits like he’s just spilled coffee. Quaid himself does a commendable job, proving he can carry a film even when the film itself feels like it’s dragging concrete boots.
But, and here’s our unfiltered opinion, the film seems almost afraid of its own premise. It promises glorious, uninhibited chaos born from a superpower, but then backs off, delivering something strangely… safe. It’s like being promised a Hollywood Demon and getting a moderately grumpy accountant. (Speaking of accountants, did you see our Review of the Accountant 2? That one had explosions!) We were ready for the full blunt force trauma, but Novocaine opted for a gentle pinch. UGHHHH!
The Twist: A Shot of Adrenaline in a Sea of Meh!
Now, for the Oscar-Worthy moment that almost, almost, made us forget the preceding mediocrity. You follow Chris as he tears through the city, dodging bullets and breaking bones, all for a girl he’s apparently smitten with. You expect the typical damsel-in-distress, ride-or-die scenario. And then… 💥BAM! The big reveal hits harder than a concrete block to the face (which Chris would probably just shrug off). The girl he’s been tearing up the city for? Yeah, she was in on the whole scam and robbery (Who is this clever vixen that wreaks havoc on the whole film… shes’s played by Amber Midthunder!)from the very beginning.
It’s a clever, genuinely surprising twist that injects a much-needed jolt of sharp take into an otherwise predictable plot. It reshapes everything you thought you knew, making you reconsider every single one of her sweet smiles and helpless glances. It’s the kind of betrayal that makes for PURE CINEMATIC GOLD! and leaves you muttering, “Well, I didn’t see that coming!” This single plot twist elevates the film from a complete bad decision to something that at least has one memorable, Hollywood Demon-level moment. Thank you for your service, plot twist!
The Verdict: Should You Watch This? Meh… But That Twist Though!
So, where does Novocaine land on the Cinesist judgement scale? It’s a film with flashes of brilliance (the twist, Jack Quaid’s commitment) surrounded by a generous helping of “just alright.” It’s not offensively bad, but it’s not going to set your world on fire. It’s the cinematic equivalent of elevator music – it exists, it fills a space, and you’ll forget it five minutes after you’ve left. If you’re scrolling through Paramount+ with absolutely nothing else calling your name, and you’re curious about one surprisingly clever betrayal, then sure, inject Novocaine into your watchlist. But don’t expect a high-octane rush. Just a dull ache with one surprising, satisfying sting.
When the girl of his dreams (Amber Midthunder) is kidnapped, everyman Nate (Jack Quaid) turns his inability to feel pain into an unexpected strength in his fight to get her back.
Paramount Pictures
And that’s Novocaine for you. It exists. It filled some screen time. If you’re looking for something that won’t offend, won’t excite, and will likely be forgotten by the time you finish this sentence, then congratulations, you’ve found your cinematic soulmate. It’s the movie equivalent of lukewarm tap water. You drank it, now what? I’m off to find something with actual flavor. Mic drop, exit stage left. 🤯
Also from the Snarkive:
Should You Watch Novocaine?
I wouldn't watch it again. It's the kind of movie that makes you wonder if you accidentally hit pause on your life for two hours. It's not bad enough to rant about, but not good enough to remember. It just... is. Elevator music for your eyeballs.
Novocaine
- Certification: R
- Release Date: March 12, 2025
- Runtime: 110 minutes
- Cast:
The Pure Cinematic Gold! Moments ✨
- 😏 It eventually ended. Seriously, that's a plus.
- 😏 The actors were, indeed, present and accounted for. They showed up!
- 😏 The cinematography didn't actively offend my eyeballs. Low bar, but hey, it cleared it!
The Bad Decisions! We Spotted 🤦♀️
- 🤬 More forgettable than my Wi-Fi password after a week.
- 🤬 The plot twists were less surprising than a magician revealing a rabbit from a hat.
- 🤬 It made me question my life choices for two hours. That's my time, people!
Go on, you know you want to. The comment section isn’t going to fill itself, and honestly, this carefully crafted piece of meta-snark deserves a little applause… or at least a witty critique. Don’t leave us hanging here! 👇💥💻