Okay, you twisted romantics, you obsessive weirdos, you people who somehow find Joe Goldberg ‘charming’ (and seriously, what in the actual hell is WRONG with you?!), Cinesist has bravely, bravely subjected itself to FOUR SEASONS of Netflix’s ‘YOU.’ And after all that, we’re here to deliver the definitive, slightly traumatized verdict: it’s a lot. And by ‘a lot,’ we mean a metric ton of stalking, an alarming amount of murder, and enough questionable relationship choices to make even your messiest ex look like a relationship guru. You’re welcome. 💅
So, let’s dive headfirst into this glorious monument to unhealthy attachments, questionable judgment, and the sheer audacity of a man who thinks a glass cage is a perfectly acceptable way to store your significant other. Shall we? Consider this your official, therapist-recommended warning. Now, where were we? Ah, yes, YOU… and all its glorious, murderous absurdity. 🔪
Season 1: New York City – Where ‘Love’ Means Creeping, Cages, and Casual Homicide
Oh, New York City, the concrete jungle where dreams are made… and brutally extinguished by a charming bookstore manager with commitment issues and a glass cage. This season, dear readers, was our introduction to the “lovable” Joe Goldberg and his, shall we say, unconventional methods of pursuing literary-minded women. Seriously, this guy makes Hannibal Lecter look like a well-adjusted, slightly eccentric marriage counselor. He’s not just stalking; he’s curating your entire existence, one unsettling observation at a time. And frankly, it’s terrifyingly efficient. This is where the red flags started, folks, and we collectively decided they looked vaguely stylish. 🚩
Season 2: Los Angeles – Fleeing Justice, Finding… His Soulmate in Sociopathy?!
So, Joe, in a desperate, deeply predictable attempt to outrun his past (and the mounting pile of bodies, probably), naturally heads to the sunny, superficial purgatory that is Los Angeles. Because, clearly, a fresh start always involves relocating your serial killer tendencies. Here, he stumbles upon Love Quinn, who initially seems like a normal, albeit slightly quirky, chef. And guess what? Plot twist! She’s just as gloriously, psychotically messed up as he is! It’s not just a match made in heaven; it’s a match made in a meticulously soundproofed, reinforced basement with a very high body count. We almost cheered. Almost. 🤯🔪
Season 3: Suburbia – Where the White Picket Fences Are Made of… Well, You Know. 💀🏡
Ah, suburbia. The tranquil, soul-crushing utopia where Joe and Love, those two beacons of mental stability, attempt to settle down. Because nothing, and we mean nothing, screams “stable, healthy relationship” quite like a shared history of literal murder, a burgeoning collection of shovels, and a mutual penchant for burying bodies in the pristine, HOA-approved backyard. Seriously, who needs couple’s therapy when you have a conveniently large patch of lawn? Spoiler alert (but did you really need it?): it doesn’t work. Turns out, suburban bliss can’t quite cover up the stench of multiple homicides. Shocking, we know. 🙄
Season 4: London – Joe Goes International, Becomes a ‘Literary’ Detective (Because Duh)
Because apparently, Joe Goldberg isn’t just a magnet for personal despair and unhinged romance; he’s also a full-blown chaos conduit. So naturally, he packs his meticulously curated emotional baggage and hops across the pond to London, attempting to blend in as a respectable (read: deeply unsettling) literature professor. And what’s the first thing our dear Joe manages to do in a new country? Get entangled in a high-society murder mystery. Honestly, at this point, we’re starting to think he doesn’t just attract obsessive “loves”; he actively radiates homicidal maniac energy. It’s less a thrilling mystery and more a predictable consequence of Joe existing in any given postcode. Classic Joe. 🕵️♂️🇬🇧
Alright, you brave (or perhaps, deeply misguided) souls who’ve stuck with us through four seasons of Joe Goldberg’s increasingly deranged dating profile. “YOU” is, in its own twisted way, a masterclass in making you question your own sanity. It’s that rare, unsettling show that somehow manages to be both ridiculously, laughably over-the-top and disturbingly, uncomfortably believable. Penn Badgley’s performance is so unsettlingly good, you’ll almost, almost catch yourself thinking, “Aww, maybe he just needs a hug… and a stronger lock on his cage.”
But let’s be absolutely crystal clear, because apparently, some of you need to hear this: Joe Goldberg is NOT a romantic hero. He’s not a misunderstood bad boy. He’s a psychopath with a library card, a surprisingly sturdy glass box, and a severe boundary issue. Any “chemistry” you feel is Stockholm Syndrome, darling.
So, if you’re looking for a show that will make you feel perpetually uncomfortable, vigorously question your faith in humanity, and maybe triple-check your windows at night, then “YOU” is absolutely for you. But don’t say Cinesist didn’t warn you – we did, repeatedly. This show is a rollercoaster of crazy, and you might just need therapy (or at least a very long, hot shower) after watching it. Consider this a public service announcement.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go aggressively bleach our brains and try to forget everything we just watched. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and for the love of all that is sane, tell us in the comments if you’re as disturbed by this show as we are! Seriously, validate our trauma. 👇😬
